|The Blue Skies of my Angel's Eyes
I asked the angel
Why she was weeping
She said she thought I had been sleeping
When she found me on my bed
Staring at the skies
The blue skies of my angel's eyes
The one who found me dead
If only she knew
How long I've waited
To see the skies in her blue eyes
Staring as I gaze
Into the bluest of goodbyes
The brightest of my days -
The Land that is
Sometimes, we roll down the hill.
We tug it behind us. That,
Like nature’s boudoir
Those tightly rolled carpets.
Not so tight,
The ribbons of landscape,
Which allow us to come back?
Find the sea again
With its fates and tempers.
A Beautiful Scene for Death
The snow drifted down
Upon the ground
Covering it in a
Blanket of white
It glistened and gleamed
In the sun
Sparks a fly
Off in the distance
There is a figure
He comes closer
But not leaving
A track on the
You don’t know who he is
Until he is in front of you
He is death
And he welcomes you
With inviting arms
You step forward
And as simple as that
You just have to wish to die.
“I Lie Awake”
and The nonstop day replays in my head
The popcorn ceiling makes scenes appear
Panic sets in with every new episode
Pain staking memories paint pictures
I snap from reality…
I lie awake
The walls shed tears not yet cried
Slowly the room fills with distress
Rising higher with each memory flashing
My bed floats in sorrow
I lie awake
A knock on the closet door
The monsters want to reveal themselves
The rushing wave doesn't stop
Terror fills my eyes….
I lie awake
Haunting sights fill my room
Screams escape the only mouth visible
Shadows attack my innocence
Ripping at my soul
Pulling in all directions
I lie awake
Smell of death follows
Blood, sweat, and tears
Spinning out of control
No way to get loose
Demons stabbing needle-sharp talons into my
and I lie awake
Slowly being shaken
The ice cold water splashes on to my bare skin
False words spoken
"The drugs, the drugs"
"No hope, he's gone"
Blinding stares pass
I lie awake.....
Crowd Pleaser Gabi Mathews
there's a whisper in your heart
that speaks of dangerous games to come
with open hearts and bleeding words
and you know you're just a tease
can't really be more than that
it hurts too much to give yourself away
and flirting is as easy as 1-2-3
wink, smile, stay a while
ignore your conscience
(why is it there it should go away now)
dance and smile and laugh away the pain
forget the boys waiting for you back at home
(home is where the heart lies;
where is home when your heart keeps jumping around)
think it's all fine till you get back and find
that one message 'where were you'
remember those days when you used to care
before your heart was made out of wear and tear
click delete and cry on the inside
outside is where it's at though
so you paint your face pretty
and keep yourself happy
wait until the next one comes along
nobody says it
(she's such a nice girl)
but they don't need to
because the only thing in your head is 'what a slut'
bouncing back and forth all the time
line them all up
ask cash or credit
see your history and edit-edit-edit
everyone lies in this world of ours
to protect and shield and make yourself look better
always too busy for that guy next door
he's been waiting to play scrabble
since you moved in last december
emotions scramble up
(emotion is seven letters- bingo)
they ask if you know what's going on
and you say
'why would i know what i'm doing'
best friend trying to hold you back
lock up your heart and put it on the rack
maybe it's all for the better
when the feelings leave the stage
but you always were a sucker for big brown eyes
(bambi eyes, that's what they're called)
and you're being sucked-sucked-sucked in
to where the laughs and giggles die down
so only the sad grimace 'why'd you do that' face is there
'sorry i'm a tease and i can't ever fully please'
that's the truth and you wishwishwish people would stop
(stop it, i can't breathe anymore)
hoping for more because you're just a little girl
(turning 14 what do you want for your birthday sweetie
i'd like to get a new heart and a second chance)
the world was on your shoulders and now you're in the hospital
for breaking your back
(you've got to stop hurting yourself)
for now you spread the glitter
and pretend you've got it under control
(drop a pick up line like you would a 'i'm fine and you?')
always was good at acting
and maybe no one will really ever understand
that ball of runaround-pleasethecrowd-fakeasmile-
who flails and primps and goofs and wheezes
no one can really seem to get ahold of her
it's like watching an explosion in slow-mo
so captivating in its destruction
and when she goes down in all her glory
(food sex anger pain love
hate friends words sayitallinonebreath)
hopefully someone will remember
that she really did care
she was just too busy
Making My First Wish
The priceless pictures gleam and
Beam with pride. They gradually reveal
Themselves to me like new but relived days.
In one – Childhood's invisible spirit
Hovers over me and smiles.
She smiles with closed rose lips
And open indigo eyes.
Eyes open to what was once
In my life.
I hold the same youthful
Position: visible on the
Overgrown scented grassy hill of a yard.
A lengthy wishie – a new and old friend –
Bows courteously in
Delicate like a memory
Memorable like delicacy
Where does the wishie grow now?
My young body
Holds my head
Decorated with stubs of
A pastel pink hood
Hides them like secrets.
It drapes itself loosely
Over the curls and around
My baby-soft face like a round blanket.
The curls are Childhood's gift to me.
And the hood – from Age.
In the perfect pretty picture
I lend my wandering eyes to Curiosity.
Together we gaze at the wondrous wishie.
My first wishie sighting.
Together tiny precious pieces
Make up the old white fuzzy ball at the top.
The gift of a dandelion's death.
Where does the wishie lie now?
Its spirit must reside with afterlife
In the entire album of pictures
Entitled “Memory Lane”
For which I've wished.